How Pistol Grips and Adjustable Stocks make things more dangerous-er

People keep telling me that pistol grips and adjustable stocks make things much more dangerous and must be banned to save “the children”…  So.  I conducted a series of tests to confirm this wisdom.

My doctor tells me that salt is bad for me…
Assault SaltNow it’s really bad I guess…  IDK, Tastes the same.

Sometimes I really wish I could change channels faster.  Especially when I get around the Soap Opera Network, MSNBC, and Current TV…  I’m told that pistol grips allow you to operate things much faster.  So, I tried it out.
Rapid Fire RemoteThis didn’t work at all…  I think it’s actually slower now.  Hurmp…

Maybe it only works to make dangerous things more dangerous…  With all the talk about Bayonets, I know what to do!
Assault Knife?Well, this is just completely unwieldy now.  Why isn’t this working?!?

Maybe I need to combine one thing politicians are trying to ban with another thing they are trying to ban.
Assault PitRight?
Assault Pitweiler


SUCCESS!!!  He is now clearly displeased!
Assault Pit Bull

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8 Responses to How Pistol Grips and Adjustable Stocks make things more dangerous-er

  1. Pingback: Sharp as a Marble - Dangerous items

  2. AuricTech says:

    Assault shaker! Oh no!

    I’ll bet it’s assault shaker that’s also high-capacity. Who needs more than 10 grains of salt? That’s enough to show skepticism 10 times!

  3. Archer says:

    You need to tape a standard alkaline AA to the first one. Then you’d have an evil “as-salt and battery”.

  4. Crotalus says:

    Shouldn’t that be spelled “assalt shaker”?

  5. Pingback: SayUncle » Assault weapons

  6. Mr Evilwrench says:

    Yeah, depending where you stick that, I could see the dog being in a bit of a mood.

  7. Veeshir says:

    Of course he’s upset, he already had a pistol grip.

  8. Pingback: Hunting Shotgun or Evil Tan Assault Shotgun? | All Nine Yards

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